Sextra Credit
by DragonQueenSori
Summary: KakashixIruka Now a series of oneshots! Beware of bad puns.
1. Sextra Credit

**I got the idea for this today during an odd conversation with my friends about band names and perverted teachers. How I got this out of that still eludes me.**

**I do not own Naruto or any of its characters.**

**Edit: Thank you to those who brought this to my attention. The meathod with which Kakashi has destroyed Iruka's kitchen belongs exclusively to ChibiRisuChan. The rest belongs to me.**

Iruka sat rubbing the bridge of his nose trying fruitlessly to stop the onslaught of a headache. He shot another nasty glare at Kakashi, who was sitting at the other end of the table in Iruka's kitchen. What was left of his kitchen anyway. Utensils were flung about everywhere, they had yet to be cleaned up and the cabinets were scorched black. There was also the matter of the gaping hole in the wall. It had been covered with tarp and scaffolding, but it was still there.

Kakashi began to squirm under Iruka's patented death glare. That's right; the great Sharingan Kakashi was squirming under a school teacher's glare. Admittedly he was a teacher at a school for ninjas and any normal man would have been sent screaming into the distance long ago under the strength of his gaze. Kakashi was also, currently, Iruka's boyfriend which gave him a certain amount of resistance. Of course, it was also because of the fact that he was Iruka's boyfriend that he was currently in the remains of Iruka's kitchen being glared at.

After a certain point in their relationship, Kakashi had suggested he move in with Iruka. It would give them more time to spend with each other and would spare Iruka from his morning hear attack when Kakashi would suddenly appear from thin air. Iruka hadn't been sure about this. Ninja are notorious for lacking domestic skills. Kakashi was no exception, although Iruka was. Not wanting his house destroyed, Iruka had offered a solution. Kakashi would be given a test period during which he would be tested on his behavior. If he succeeded Iruka would have a new housemate, if not then he had probably screwed up so bad Iruka wouldn't see him for a month. And since not seeing him meant no sex, our little silver haired pervert had decided to avoid this option at all costs. Of course, he realized now that he had probably just brought down the second option on his head full fury with this morning's kitchen stunt.

"Kakashi…" He snapped to attention immediately. Iruka was still talking to him. This was good; it meant he still had a chance. "I want to go over this again… how exactly did you manage to destroy my kitchen in the space of fifteen minutes?" Kakashi thought about it for a few minutes.

"Well you see, I knew I wasn't doing too well on my examination so I decided I'd try to make breakfast to cheer you up." Iruka nodded, following along so far. "So I decided I'd make bacon, and while it was cooking, I went to check on you. You were asleep and you just looked so cute. I guess I got distracted. When I returned to the kitchen I found the bacon in flames. I remembered that you can't put a grease fire in water, so I decided to throw baking soda over it." At this point Iruka found it necessary to interject.

"It wasn't baking soda Kakashi, it was flour. What possessed you to use flour?"

"Erm… It looked like baking soda?"

"No Kakashi. Flour and baking soda are different namely because FLOUR UNDER PRESSURE EXPLODES YOU NITWIT!"

Kakashi cringed away from a red faced Iruka and muttered "I put the fires out."

"YOU MADE THEM WORSE!"

Time for a different tactic. "Worse? Or Better?"

The death glare he was being given told him he had chosen the wrong answer. "Ok, so I made the fire worse. I put it out afterwards."

"YOU PANICED AND USED A JONIN LEVEL WATER JUTSU! THUS SUCCESSFULLY PUNCHING A HOLE THROUGH MY KITCHEN WALL!"

Iruka suddenly calmed down. "I don't know Kakashi, I don't think this is going to work out between us. I'm afraid you fail this little inspection." The silver haired nin frowned, no way was he going to let this happen. Time for yet another tactic.

"I haven't failed yet." Iruka shot him a questioning look. "I still have the option of extra credit." Iruka was now thoroughly confused. "Extra credit? What extra credit?"

Kakashi grinned. "Oh, you know…" he reappeared behind Iruka, his breath tickling the back of his neck. "extra credit", he whispered suavely. Iruka shivered.

Kakashi was comfortably curled up against his boyfriend. "So…", he whispered into Iruka's ear, "did I pass?"There was a moment's pause and then…"You passed…" Kakashi grinned like a maniac. "But just barely." His grin didn't move an inch.

Still grinning like a maniac, Kakashi whispered into Iruka's ear. "I like extra credit." This was responded by a low chuckle from Iruka. "You know, I think I do too."

**I hoped you enjoyed this drabble of mine. Thanks for reading.**

**Please review.**


	2. Psycho Killer

**I got the idea for this during math class. I am still trying to figure out what this has to do with the FOIL method.**

**I decided to make this a series instead of a one shot. Mainly because the plot bunnies won't leave me alone.**

**I do not own Naruto or any of its characters,**

Kakashi was scared. This was nothing new, he had been scared before. But now, the great Sharingan Kakashi was fearing for his life. You see, he had broken one of The Rules. The Rules were in place for his own safety, he had been informed. You break The Rules and bad things happen; abide by them and your life goes on as normal. But Kakashi had broken one of The Rules and now bad things were most certainly going to happen.

So now, because he had broken a Rule, Kakashi found himself bound hand and foot, wearing only his boxers, and hung upside down from the ceiling, his silver locks slightly brushing the floor. This was not the scary part. The scary part was Iruka, smiling in a slightly cheerful sort of way and sitting on a chair under an old ceiling lamp which offered the only source of light in the entire establishment.

Iruka was the maker of The Rules. Iruka was the enforcer of The Rules. Kakashi had broken a very important rule indeed: Never carry out any perverted actions within a ten foot radius of Iruka without his consent.

Kakashi had no idea what his punishment would be, he just hoped it wouldn't involve castration.

Iruka's smile widened. "Are you comfy?" Kakashi thought it wise not to respond just now. A good idea as it turned out. "Good. It is now time to carry out your punishment." He reached behind him to grab something Kakashi couldn't see. His heart sped up. _Please don't be a knife. Please don't be a knife. For the love of whatever deity may be listening, please don't let it be a knife!_

Iruka pulled out a familiar little orange book and suddenly Kakashi was very, very afraid. He began to flip idly through the pages before coming to a stop on one of the more dog-eared pages. "Ah, page 82. Obviously one of the more frequently visited pages." Kakashi couldn't help himself from grinning. Page 82. Good times, good times.

He was interrupted from his musings by a loud ripping noise. He returned to reality just in time to see Iruka rip the aforementioned page out of the book. Kakashi whimpered. "Oh dear. You should be more careful about your things Kakashi. This book is simply falling apart. But no worries, I'm sure we could put it back together." Kakashi was in his own little world silently repeating a mantra of _I can fix that, I can fix that, I can fix that_. "Yes" continued Iruka "a little tape and it would be good as new. But then again…" he pulled a match from behind his back and lit it "I doubt you will be able to reattach it."

Kakashi screamed.

Two hours later, Iruka cut Kakashi free. "I think you've learned your lesson." He'd stated before leaving. Kakashi just sort of lay on the floor numbly. He loved Iruka, but sometimes the man could be such a…such a… Kakashi shuddered

Psycho Killer

**Yeah. Psycho Killer. Because he "killed" the book all creepy like. Yeah. I'll shut up now.**

**Please Review.**


	3. Concussion

**Don't remember where I got the idea for this, but I'm pretty sure it had something to do with fish.**

**I don't own Naruto or any of its characters.**

Iruka was lying in a hospital bed having been diagnosed with a concussion and a spectacularly broken leg. He would be able to have visitors soon, he hoped it would distract from the cast on his leg. The damned thing itched like hell! He sighed and reclined onto the pillows and thought about the battle.

It should have been routine, just a group of bandits, nothing above Chunin level. What they hadn't expected was the jonin level missing nins that had been hired. It had ended as a success for Konoah, but with ten ninja down, himself included. He remembered the battle clearly, they had managed to ambush their opponents, taking out several before the battle had really even begun. Things had quickly gone downhill from there.

The enemy that should have been dispatched easily began to put up more of a fight than some of them were capable of handling. Details had quickly been lost in the heat of battle. All Iruka remembered was the swirling mass of limbs, the stench of blood, and the cries of pain. And then the jutsu hit him. It had been some sort of earth jutsu he supposed, it had hit him hard, breaking his leg and sending him into a half conscious state brought about by a head wound. He saw an enemy nin approaching, and he knew he was done for, there wasn't much he could do in that state. And then Kakashi had appeared.

The silver haired nin had fought off five at once, all the while protecting him. The way he looked as his kunai flashed as he cut down his foes was… indescribable. Kakashi had displayed a side of him that was cunning, intellectual, deadly, and… quite sexy actually. This had surprised him, he had never though about his boyfriend in that particular light before, but that battle had brought out something in Kakashi Iruka never would have suspected existed.

The nurse called from outside the room, telling him he had a visitor. Iruka bit his lip, already knowing who it was. He wasn't quite sure how he would react to him after his thoughts from the battle.  
"Iruka!" came the call as the object of his affections walked into the room. Iruka's stomach did flip-flops as Kakashi suddenly frowned. Had he seen the way Iruka had been looking at him? God, what if he… "You have a cast." Iruka's train of thought was cut of by Kakashi's statement. "Yes Kakashi, that's generally what happens when someone breaks a leg." Kakashi's frown deepened. "I think it will be hard to have sex with you wearing…" He was cut off by means of Iruka throwing the visitor's chair at him at an excess of 112 miles per hour.

Iruka sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose, he could feel a headache coming on. He pressed a button to call for a nurse to collect the unconscious nin, then settled back again into his pillows. He had honestly thought those things about Kakashi?

Nah. He decided. It must have been the concussion.

**I hoped you enjoyed this! Not much else to say. Thanks for the reviews and the hits! They were much appreciated.**

**Please Review**


	4. Pi Day

**Thank you all so much for your support! 1145 reviews! Who would have guessed you liked me so much. I love all of you! hug**

**This is done in honor of pi day. The actual inspiration came from listening to a conversation between two of my classmates, one of which was confused about which pi it was.**

**I do not own Naruto or any of its characters.**

It had been a long day for Iruka. Well, everyday was a long day when you have to look after several dozen small children with pointy objects. But the day was now over and Iruka let his feet lead him to the residence of Kakashi. His boyfriend had wanted to celebrate something or other.

He arrived at Kakashi's and was rewarded with the scent of something baking. The smell indicated it was some sort of pastry. His stomach growled, reminding him he hadn't eaten lunch that day. Obeying his stomach, Iruka walked inside. He was greeted by the sight of Kakashi, decked out in an apron labeled 'Kiss the Cook' and baking pies.

Iruka immediately checked for genjutsu. Something was wrong here. Kakashi never cooked anything. Ever. "Kakashi, are you feeling alright?"

He looked up. "Fine thanks. Why?" Iruka was still glancing about uneasily. "This really doesn't seem like you." Kakashi tutted disapprovingly. "Iruka! How could you forget what today is? You do remember right?" Iruka was still confused. "No?"

Kakashi grinned like the maniac he was. "It's pie day!" Iruka groaned and sat down. This was more like Kakashi. "Kakashi. It's _pi_ not _pie_." He was greeted with a blank stare. "You know, pi? 3.14? It's March 14, pie day. Einstein's birthday. For the love of God Kakashi! _Pi!_" Kakashi frowned. "Pi?" "Pi" He sat down and put his head in his hands. "I screwed up… again."

Iruka placed his hand on Kakashi's shoulder. "Come on. You didn't mess up that badly. All you did was bake some admittedly delicious looking pies." His stomach growled in accompaniment causing him to blush. Kakashi smirked. "What's this? Has little Iruka forgotten to listen to his little stomach?" Iruka opened his mouth to reply and suddenly found it filled with pie. Cherry pie. Iruka shot Kakashi the most dignified glare he could while stuffing his face with cherry goodness. Kakashi laughed and then found an apple pie firmly planted on his head. He retaliated and sent a blueberry missile towards Iruka. It hit with deadly accuracy and the pie war began.

Half an hour later Iruka sat content on Kakashi's kitchen floor while Kakashi licked pie off his fingers. He cracked open and eye to look at the silver haired ninja –now multicolored, raspberry really was a nice color for him although it was thrown off by the piece of apple hanging from his ear – and smiled. "Happy pi day Kakashi." Kakashi leaned forward and whispered "Happy pie day Iruka" before kissing him gently on the forehead.

"You taste like strawberries Iruka, or maybe that's just the pie."

**Yes. Einstein's birthday really is on pi day. Isn't history spiffy!?**

**Thanks for reading. Please review!**


	5. Spring Cleaning

Hello again! Thank you for all your wonderful support!

The idea for this came from my mother, who is currently beginning her spring cleaning rampage. Please enjoy!

I do not own Naruto or any of its characters.

_Italian shoes clicked softly on the expensive marble floor of the main hall. Kakashi strode across it confidently; after all, he owned it. He removed the jacket of his tailored designer suit and removed his tie, all the while scanning the hall for someone. He let the jacket fall carelessly from his fingers; it was caught before it hit the ground. "Please, Master Kakashi, be more careful with your things." Kakashi grinned and turned, the jacket never failed to draw out his prey._

_No many men can pull off a maid's out fit, but Iruka did have sensational legs. Iruka began to fold his jacket, lecturing him and not meeting his gaze. "Why do you even bother with nice things if you're just going to drop them on the floor? Honestly, I have half a mind to…" Kakashi swept forward and grabbed Iruka in an embrace. "Have half a mind to what?" He put his finger under Iruka's chin and lifted it so that he has meeting Kakashi's smoldering gaze. "How many times do I have to tell you to look me in the eyes?" Iruka flushed pink. "At least once more Master." "What have I told you about this master stuff?" Kakashi leaned forward, his lips gently brushing Iruka's "My name is Kakashi." Iruka, his face a nice cherry began to murmur protests. "We shouldn't be doing this. One of my rank should not…" "Shut up." Kakashi pressed his lips against Iruka's, cutting off further protest. Kakashi…" Iruka moaned into his mouth. Kakashi twisted his fingers into Iruka's hair, his other hand sneaking up Iruka's short skirt. Iruka moaned his name again. Kakashi fingered the hem of Iruka's panties (black lace!? And Iruka said he didn't want this sort of thing) and was met with more enthusiastic moaning._

"_KAKASHI_!"

Kakashi fell off the couch and fell onto the floor with a dull thump. Why did Iruka have to wake him up? It had been such a nice dream. He gazed blearily at his lover. Iruka was in work clothes, pants rolled up and a bottle of some sort of cleaner in his hands.

"Honestly Kakashi. I work to make this place look presentable while you laze about all day. What am I? Your maid?" Iruka glared at him before adopting a puzzled look at his grin. "What are you grinning about?" Kakashi opened his mouth to reply but was cut off by Iruka. "No. Never mind. I don't want to know. It's probably just something perverted." He dug around in his pocket for a minute before finding what he wanted. "Here's twenty ryou. Go amuse yourself for a little while, it'll get you out of my hair."

Kakashi walked out whistling with his money, making out for the costume shop. _'I wonder if I can find a maid's outfit in Iruka's size.'_

**Hope you enjoyed it.**

**Thank you for reading! Please review!**


	6. Lightbulbs

**Yeah! Here we are with yet another one shot for you to enjoy, thank you so much for reading. I would also like to say that I now have a beta reader! A big shout out to kyon-kyonxkitty-chan! Thanks to her you no longer have to rely upon spell-check and my own half-ass grammar skills. **

**This story is dedicated to and inspired by kyon-kyonxkitty-chan. Vinnie, this is entirely your fault and you know it.**

**CopyNinAstral: glomp Thank you so much! And yes, the infamous maid's outfit will return!**

**I do not own Naruto or any of its characters.**

Kakashi wasn't much of a handy man. He brought home the larger of the two pay checks, that was for sure, but he didn't really do much around the house. Iruka had just sort of accepted this. Bugging Kakashi to do any sort of housework just wasn't worth the effort. So imagine his surprise when he walked into the dining room to see Kakashi changing light bulbs on the tacky chandelier.

'I really should get rid of that thing.' He thought absentmindedly as he watched his silver haired love go about his business. Kakashi was yet again showing his weirdness. He would smirk as he fitted the bulbs into their proper sockets and would giggle manically when the bulb lit up. Normally changing light bulbs with the electrical current on is inadvisable, but you must remember that Kakashi wasn't any old person. He was a ninja, a small jolt like that wasn't going to kill him, especially not with his chakra alignment.

"Alright, I'll bite, what's so funny Kakashi?" Kakashi turned from his work, a light bulb still in his fingers, and raised his eyebrow. "Iruka! I'd thought you'd know me better than that by now. Tell me, what normally makes me giggle?" A sigh escaped Iruka's lips. "Perverted things?" "Exactly!" Iruka stared blankly. "How are light bulbs perverted?" Kakashi looked wounded. "Don't tell me you've never discovered the sexual connotation behind light bulbs!" Iruka was growing more and more annoyed. "No Kakashi, I haven't .Why don't you enlighten me?"

"Alright then." He held up the light bulb and gestured to the none-light-up part of it. "You take rod A…" He gestured to the socket in the chandelier, "stick it in slot B…" He did so, "and screw." He twisted it deftly a few times and the bulb lit up. "Then it lights up your world." He looked back at Iruka and gave his trademark grin.

Iruka stared back dumbfounded. 'Why did I have to choose the biggest pervert in Konoah?' He let out a small sigh and opened his mouth to reply. "Kakashi-" He was cut off by the person in question, who shoved a light bulb in his mouth and giggled perversely. Iruka took a second to take nit all in. Kakashi's giggling, the lecture he had just received, and most importantly the light bulb in his mouth. The bulb was extracted from his mouth as quickly as possible. "Kakashi" he squawked indignantly. Kakashi took the light bulb that had been previously in his lover's mouth, and went back to work. "I'll be just a moment love."

Iruka glared, red faced at Kakashi. Changing light bulbs, with the electrical current going, and a light bulb still moistened with his saliva. There was a moment's pause. "Fuck!" Iruka screamed.

"Kakashi, don't-"

The resulting explosion ripped the chandelier off of it's mooring, and sent it spinning toward one side of the room. Kakashi was blasted in the opposite direction. Iruka quickly tore a drape from one of the windows and sprang toward the chandelier, which had caught fire quickly after its impromptu fight.

Once the fire was out, he turned to look at a rather sheepish looking Kakashi, who was charred and smoking. "You know, I think it's best if you don't do any more housework for a while Kakashi." Kakashi nodded in agreement. "Right."

Iruka looked at him again and gave another small sigh. "Your hair's on fire, love."

**Has anyone else ever noticed the sexual connotation behind light bulbs? Anyone?**

**And yes, I am aware that a spit moistened light bulb wouldn't normally explode when exposed to an electrical current, but hey, explosions are fun!**

**Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed it!**

**Please Review!**


	7. Inturruptions

_**Important:**_** Normally I don't do this sort of thing, but I feel I must warn you. McAffe has caused severe disruptions to my laptop. I lost several of the things I was considering uploading. I am currently rewriting them, but this will take time. Updates will be sporadic as best. I apologize for the inconvenience. **

**On a happier note, I have begun an attempt to write a full length KakashixIruka fic. It's currently under construction, but I hope it will come out as well as this story (series) has. I thank you for your continued support.**

**This is based on something I want to do. My neighbors would kill me, but it's something to do before I die.**

**I do not own Naruto or any of its characters.**

Iruka awoke and extracted himself from his lovers arms and began the process of getting ready to greet the day. By the time he had taken a shower, gotten dressed, and gathered his materials for class, Kakashi was up. "Want some coffee, love?" He was responded with two strong arms encircling his waist and pulling him into a gentle embrace. "I would prefer something much sweeter than any coffee could ever possibly be." Kakashi gently nibbled his ear. Iruka half closed his eyes and allowed himself to slip into a world where nothing existed but those blessed lips. He smiled, what a great way to start off- "Iruka sensei!"

He scowled in irritation as he was torn from his lip induced coma and turned towards the source of his troubles. Naruto sat on the windowsill of the kitchen, blue eyes regarding them curiously. "Iruka, if you're going to train in the mornings, you should go to the practice grounds. And Kakashi, you should offer a stronger grip on you opponent." Iruka sighed; Naruto had the worst timing. He had been having a _moment_ damn it! Ah well, the innocent must be kept as such.

"Thank you for your input Naruto. I'll be sure to take your advice in the future." The orange wearing ninja grinned and took of to… wherever it was that he had been going." Kakashi ruffled Iruka's hair. "If you just told him we were dating, we wouldn't have to put up with this." Iruka gathered up his school things and headed for the door. "I know." He began his daily trek to the school building.

Lunch break was a time when most teachers went somewhere to eat, watched the children to make sure they didn't kill themselves, and finished excess grading. Iruka was currently using his lunch break as a make out session with his boyfriend. He broke the frantic kiss he was currently engaged in, gasping for breath. "What's the matter Kakashi?" he asked, panting "You seem a little more… into it than you normally would." Kakashi fixed him with a stern glare. "I didn't get my Iruka this morning. You want me to die of lack of you?" Iruka grinned. "Kakashi, I-" "Iruka sensei!"

Iruka winced as a familiar yellow haired nin landed in front of them. "What are you…" Naruto took a minute to absorb everything before coming to his conclusion. He grabbed Iruka's arm and pulled him away from Kakashi. "Oh no you don't!" He yelled. "Iruka is treating _me_ to ramen today, not you!" He leapt off, dragging a helpless Iruka behind him.

Iruka wearily shut the door behind him and groaned. It had been a long day. He looked up to see Kakashi standing there, watching him. He raised an eyebrow. "What? No welcome home kiss?" Kakashi chuckled apologetically. "Sorry. I'm afraid that if I even touch you Naruto will show up and begin to make ridiculous demands." Iruka rubbed the bridge of his nose, trying to stave off a headache. "I know how you feel." He let out an exasperated groan "I've got so much work to do." Kakashi gathered him up in an embrace. "Well love, if you feel the need for a break I will be plenty willing to-" "Iruka sensei!"

"Naruto." Iruka cut him off before he could begin whatever it was he was going to say. "Why don't you do something else for a while? I've got plenty of school work to attend to." Naruto looked sheepish. "Well, what is there to do?" Iruka pondered the question for a few seconds. "Why don't you pull a prank? You haven't done one for a while. No one will be expecting it." A foxy grin was his response. "Great idea Iruka sensei! I've got a good one in mind too!" With that, Naruto took his leave.

Iruka waved at Naruto's retreating back. "God, I thought he'd never leave." He looked at the mass of schoolwork awaiting him and let out a sigh. Time to get to work.

The red glow coming from the bedside clock was the only source of light in the dark bedroom. The blinking lights read 3:00. _Why the hell am I awake at three AM?_ Iruka wondered for a minute. Kakashi's hands floated over every inch of skin they could get at, his mouth kissing the sensitive skin of Iruka's neck. _Oh yeah, that's why._

Iruka let out a groan of pleasure as one of Kakashi's hands slid down his torso, past his belly button down towards his-

**I WANT TO BE THE VERY BEST, LIKE NO ONE EVER WAS!**

Iruka let out a panicked shriek and fell of the bed and onto the floor with a dull thump.

**TO CATCH THEM IS MY REAL TEST, **

Iruka could vaguely hear Kakashi yelling obscenities through the fog in his mind.

**TO TRAIN THEM IS MY CAUSE!**

Iruka's mind had shut down; incapable of processing the information it was being given.

**I WILL TRAVEL ACROSS THE LAND SEARCHING FAR AND WIDE**

Iruka's eyes widened as he began to comprehend the situation.

**EACH POKEMON TO UNDERSTAND THE POWER THAT'S INSIDE!**

Someone, somewhere, was blasting the Pokemon theme song.

**POKEMON! IT'S YOU AND ME. YOU KNOW ITS MY DESTINY!**

This meant that his _quality time_ with Kakashi had been compromised.

**POKEMON! YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND IN A WORLD WE MUST DEFEND!**

Iruka's eyes narrowed. Whoever did this was going to pay. He would personally make sure of that.

**POKEMON! OUR HEARTS SO TRUE! OUR COURAGE WILL PULL US THROUGH!**

What person, what stupid, simplistic, idiotic person, would dare do this?

**YOU TEACH ME AND I'LL TEACH YOU, POKEMON!**

And then it hit him.

**GOTTA CATCH EM ALL!**

"_**NARUTO!"**_

**GOTTA CATCH EM ALL!**

Iruka wasn't mad. Oh no, he was far beyond mad. If you were to take the angriest person in the world, multiply him by ten, steal his car, drop a nest of angry hornets on him, sucker punch him, and insult his mother; you would still not reach anywhere near the level of killing intent that Iruka was emitting right now. _**"I'LL KILL HIM!"**_ Iruka stormed for the door, not particularly caring that all he had on at the moment was a pair of boxers that had been halfway through being taken off. A strong hand caught his arm, forcing him to halt.

Iruka turned on Kakashi. _How dare he stop me from doing this!_ He was met by a pair of hard eyes, one of which was a blazing Sharingan. Kakashi had the katana from his ANBU days resting across his shoulder, and bloodlust was written into every muscle. He handed Iruka a pouch of kunai and explosive tags. "You're going to need these love." Iruka took them with a maniacal grin, strangely accented by the blaring music going on in the background. "Right then."

Hopefully, wherever he was, Naruto had the sense to start running.

**No Narutos were harmed in the making of this fic.**

**Ha! And you thought you were going to get lemon, didn't you? There's not much more to say.**

**Enjoy and Review!**


	8. Nosebleed

**I'm sorry for the lack of updates!!!!! My laptop died and on the way to fix it I got lost on the road of life….**

**This chapter brought to you by procrastination! Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow?**

**I still do not own Naruto or any of its characters. Darn.**

Injured ninja walked, limped, or were dragged into Konoah hospital so often the sight was almost a daily occurrence. However, when the esteemed copy-nin Kakashi passed out in the lobby after muttering the words 'nosebleed' and 'Iruka', the medical staff couldn't help but take notice.

One medical analysis jutsu later, Kakashi was resting comfortably after receiving a blood transfusion. The doctor in charge of the silver haired patient waited for the nurse to return with the mission file and wondered what the hell had happened. How could a jonin of his standings be reduced to this state without a scratch? You just don't lose that amount of blood without a gaping wound of some sort, the type that was conspicuously missing. And any medical jutsu that may have been performed to close the wound would have restored at least some of the blood to the recipient's system. The doctor growled in annoyance at the figure prone on the bed sheets. He wanted to know exactly what sort of mission Kakashi had been on.

(flashback)

_Kakashi could successfully label this as a good day; for all that it was only eight in the morning. Everything just seemed to be going perfectly. The sun was shining, the annoying sparrows in the tree outside his house had kept their bloody beaks shut, and he had successfully avoided that creepy neighbor lady. His happiness manifested itself in a skip in his step and a cheery grin on his face. Yes, Kakashi was happy and successfully ignoring the morbid side of his brain which insured him that something was about to go catastrophically wrong._

_And so, sighing contentedly and grinning manically enough to stop a marauding horde of drunken hornets, Kakashi made his way to the Hokage's tower. He had an appointment with his wizened leader. You really had to love the guy. Sarutobi wouldn't get mad at you even if you showed up two hours late for a mission briefing, something Kakashi did with infuriating regularity. Hell, he was doing it right now._

_Skipping through the double doors, and ignoring the squawk of protest from the secretary, Kakashi sauntered up to the Hokage's desk in preparation for today's excuse for being late. Saurtobi glanced up from his paperwork and gave Kakashi a warm smile. "Ah, Kakashi! Right on time!" _

_Kakashi froze, the morbid section of his mind giving him an 'I told you so!'. Something was wrong. The Hokage had just told him he was 'Right on time!'. No one ever used 'Kakashi is' in conjunction with 'right on time' unless there was a 'never' in between them. He quickly performed the handseal for dispelling genjutsu and took a glance around the room. Everything looked the same._

_Sarutobi chuckled. "There's no need for that Kakashi. This isn't an illusion. I simply took into account your chronic lateness and gave you a time that would cause you to show up exactly when you needed to." Kakashi fumed. He hated being predictable. "Now, now, Kakashi. I think you'll quite enjoy this mission." Kakashi arched his visible eyebrow, as if asking what sort of mission was so important he had to show up on time. The double doors opened yet again and a third person entered the room._

_"Sorry I'm late; the children can be quite a handful sometimes. I don't mean to be rude or anything, but could we speed this up? I don't want to leave the children with Genma for too long." This was all effortlessly rattled off in a single breath by a pony-tailed chuunin. Kakashi ordered his heart to start beating again. It was just Iruka, his appearance was no reason for it to stop. Of course, it wasn't 'just Iruka'. Kakashi had been harboring a crush on his (yes, his) little chocolate haired chuunin for some time now. And Sarutobi knew damnit! He knew! (how he knew was, of course, a different story) Kakashi made a mental note to try and strangle his leader sometime in the near future. Consequences be damned. The old man deserved it._

_"Certainly, Iruka. We wouldn't want Genma to suffer for too long, would we? Kakashi." Kakashi snapped back from his Iruka-induced musings at the sound of his name. "Yes?" "We've received reports of possible enemy activity near where Iruka is taking the children today. We haven't validated these reports yet, but it can't hurt to be cautious. You will escort them there and, if need be, defend them from any trouble that may arise." An entire day with Iruka (and some kids who weren't important). Kakashi replaced his previous mental notation with one to get Sarutobi a box of chocolate in thanks._

_They were dismissed and both took their leave, Kakashi trailing behind Iruka. "So… Where are we going exactly?" Iruka paused. "That's right, he didn't tell you in your briefing." The chunin smiled. "We're going swimming!"_

_Yeah. Better make that a lifetime's supply of chocolate._

(end flashback)

The door to Kakashi's room cracked open and a nurse poked her head in. "Doctor? I've got that mission report you wanted." He waved her in. "Well, hand them over. I want to see exactly what they were doing." The manila folder was opened and he hastily flipped through the paperwork. His face twisted up into a frown as the report yielded no answers. "I don't understand. It was a simple escort mission, one with a low risk rating at that. How did it reduce him to this state?"

(flashback)

_Kakashi had definitely had a good day. His assigned mission had lead him to a comfortable spot on a nearby lake where Iruka would be teaching the kids swimming and other such aquatic skills. He had spent most of it sitting by the lake's edge and reading Icha Icha paradise (much to Iruka's chagrin) while keeping an eye out for trouble in the form of enemy nins or troublemaking students._

_Frankly, Kakshi had no idea how Iruka did it. The class seemed to determined to goof off or ignore him at every chance. The job seemed to require endless amounts of patience and energy as well as eyes in the back of your head. It was exhausting. And Iruka chose to do this for a living?_

_Lunch also chose to be a scary time. Nearly every girl in the class (despite Kakashi's firm belief that they weren't old enough to have developed hormones yet) seemed to be sporting a huge crush on the Uchiha kid. And what better way to prove your love than with a homemade bento? Mind you, Kakashi was a firm believer in this form of courtship. He'd take a bento from Iruka anyday… well, that is if Iruka ever decided to make him one._

_The Uchiha kid chose to tactfully ignore his young fanclub through the day. He had also elected to ignore Kakashi after he had deemed him not to be a threat. The only people he had paid attention to were Iruka, his instructor in the shinobi arts, and that Uzumaki kid. Kakashi had found their staring contests immensely amusing, especially the part where Sasuke would blush after the two broke eye contact. Puppy love if he'd ever seen it. Mind you, it stopped being so amusing after Kakashi came to the sobering realization that he'd probably get stuck with it. Kami, what had he done to deserve that?_

_Of course, the universe had seen fit to grant him with today, so he couldn't complain. He wished it wouldn't end. He'd really enjoyed himself today; throwing hapless students in the lake, being around Iruka, getting to read his book, talking to Iruka, being a general lay-about, eating lunch with Iruka…Speaking of which, where'd the chuunin gone off to anyway?_

(end flashback)

The doctor gave a growl of frustration and pushed the report back into his lovely assistant's hands before exiting the room. "Nothing in here provides us with any clue of what could've happened. I don't have anymore time to spare trying to figure this out. Nurse, see to it that the patient is questioned about his condition when he regains consciousness." With that, the doctor was gone, pulling on his coat as he made his way to his next job. The nurse made a quick note in the patient's file and left as well, closing the door behind her.

(flashback)

_There was no trace of the brunet. The woods were quiet and the lake was mirror smooth. The clouds rolling lazily through the sky completed the picture of tranquility. "Iruka?" Kakashi waited for a response. There was none. He called again, louder this time. "Iruka?"_

_The lake surface shattered as something erupted from its depths. Iruka broke from the surface, face flushed and panting lightly from holding his breath for extended periods. Chestnut hair struggled to free itself from the tie that held it, wet strands acquiring a 'just ravished' look. Iruka's white shirt had gone see-through and hugged close to his body like a second skin, revealing a well sculpted torso and the faintest hinting of nipples. The lake water lapped around his waist._

_Kakashi's eyes picked out water droplets as they slid down Iruka's body in a watery caress. Iruka turned to laugh at Kakashi's surprised stare, holding out a hand to the jonin. "Wanna play with me, Kakashi?"_

_Kakashi could feel it coming. Feel that dam somewhere in his skull begin to crack and break allowing the red rivers to gush forth._

_Nosebleed._

**There was originally going to be more to this chapter, but it was cut out on the advice of my beta. I really do apologize about the updates, I'll be better about it now that my laptop is (partially) fixed.**

**Please review!**


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